Double Reflections
by vagabondhoshi
Summary: A depressed highschool-student Houjun tries to cope with his feelings by writing a story about a guy called Chichiri when suddenly someone starts writing as Tasuki... TasChi*shounen-ai*AU *Ch.15 up* Merry Christmas, everyone!!!*
1. Type your pain away

AN: This was originally going to be written by two people, me doing Chiri-parts and Krissie doing Tasuki... We never got much further than this, but then I found this gathering dust on my hard-drive and decided to post it... I'm gonna continue writing this a spiffy present for Krissie... That of course means that this whole fic is dedicated to Krissie, the spiffiest person on earth!!! And anywhere else for that matter... You know I love you...  
  
  
  
  
  
Double Reflections  
  
  
  
"Chichiri was sitting on a river-bench staring at the unmoving water. It reminded him of Hikou and Kouran, how they had both perished in those floods. Even after so many years Chichiri still felt guilty. He remembered someone saying somewhere that anger was fleeting but remorse was eternal. He knew he couldn't live with himself for much longer; the dark water looked so inviting. He couldn't stand any more of this loneliness -"  
  
Houjun glanced up from the keyboard. A quick look told him he was already late from the class. He grabbed his books and ran out from the deserted dormitory. Only half way out he remembered he hadn't closed the story he'd been typing. He prayed none of the other guys sleeping in the same dormitory would need the computer and notice the story. They were already picking enough on him without knowing he was writing a novel. He couldn't even imagine how bad things would get if someone realised he was actually almost writing a biography, only set in an other world... He'd gotten the idea from an odd dream he'd had and since then he had been living a double life as a wandering monk. It was the only way he could cope with his problems; he had no friends to talk to so he just typed away all his pain through Chichiri.  
  
***  
  
Two hours later Houjun was returning from his lesson. He had sneaked out a bit early to get back to the dorm before the others. At first it seemed his story was untouched on the computer screen, but when he got close enough to read he almost got his toe broken as he dropped his physics book on it in amazement.  
  
Someone had continued his story!  
  
***  
  
Genrou rolled out of bed, cursing the sun for shining right into the room. Couldn't it visit Ireland or something?  
  
He took his shower and sat down at the computer to finish his history homework--some report on the economic depression in Germany after World War I or something. He was just about to start typing when he noticed there was some document open already. Being Genrou, he read it. There was something awfully familiar in the story but he couldn't quite grasp it... What he knew, thugh, was that he wanted to help this poor warped-up guy.   
  
"Tasuki raced through the woods, knowing something was wrong. He headed towards the river, where he had last seen Chichiri. When he got out of the woods, he saw Chichiri falling into the river. Without thinking, Tasuki jumped in, forgetting that he swam like his tessen. He caught the older man by his sleeve and pulled him out of the water, hoping to--"  
  
The other guys were waking up. Shit. He closed the story and started his essay.  
  
***  
  
Houjun stared at the words. Someone wanted to help him? Or maybe it was just another cruel joke... Well, he'd better play along...  
  
"Chichiri slowly started to regain his consciousness. Why couldn't they even let him die in peace? He had done everything he could to help the others whenever possible, but he couldn't keep the happy act up any longer. Well, it seemed he would have to act for a little while longer.  
  
'Aah, Tasuki, thank you for dragging me up. I must have slipped'  
  
'The hell you slipped!!! I saw you jumping in the river! What the hell were ya thinking about?!?'  
  
'I'm sorry, Tasuki-kun, but the water just looked too inviting.'  
  
'Cut that crap! That was a suicide attempt! Ya could've really died there!!!' Chichiri stared blankly at the bandit. Could someone really care about what happened to him? Tasuki seemed honest enough, but could he really trust the other man to hold his darkest secrets?  
  
'C'mon, 'Chiri, ya can tell me what's wrong.' The look of genuine concern on the bandits face made Chichiri make up his mind. What did he have to lose, anyway?  
  
'Well, I have been thinking... I never told you about Hikou and Kouran, da? My best friend and my fiancée... I killed them both.' Chichiri didn't want to see the look in the other man's eyes. He'd had enough of both blame and pity. But then again, if he never told it would just be eating him up from the inside for the rest of his life. Sure, Tasuki would probably hate him now but at least he'd have nothing to hide. That was what he missed most: being able to share his mind completely with someone. 'I've been able to put it all off until now, but a few days ago a realisation struck me... You know what my sign is, no da?'  
  
'It's well, right?'  
  
'Yes. And that is a deep hole filled with water, no da?'  
  
'Yeah, but I don't get what yar tryin' ta say...'  
  
'Everyone else always thinks it symbolises my inner peace and deep thoughts, all the so-called wisdom I've gained by my training. But think about it, Tasuki. You know all the pain water has caused me. And I am an empty space filled with nothing but water. The Gods love irony, da? I am all shattered on the inside; my mask is all that keeps me together... I just wanted for the pain to stop...' Chichiri lowered his gaze back to the unmoving mass of water."  
  
Houjun closed the story. He wondered if the mysterious writer would really continue the story. Probably the next time he opened the file he would find a rude note telling how ridiculous he was... Well, even that would be a human contact. He didn't know how long he could take this loneliness. After the real-world Hikou and Kouran had died he had been completely devoted to his studies, but now he was pushing his limits. He knew that a less verbal suicide attempt wasn't very far away.   
  
And he wouldn't have a Tasuki saving him, would he? 


	2. Maybe...

AN: Someone actually liked this? YAY!!! First off, I wanna thank Kaede for actually putting me on her favourites!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!! You made my day!! Can someone notice my self-esteem problems popping up again...? Anyway, thanks for all the reviews!! They keep me alive so you can get your fic ^_^ My updates may be a bit slow cuz I'm living with a non-yaoi person so I can only write occasionally, but I'll do my best...  
  
BTW this fic seems to have accumulated a bad karma... Wrappedinplastiq told in the reviews that someone's already used the idea of continuing eachother's stories and I've never even seen that fic... Another example is that I was originally gonna name this Once upon a Dream and then just the day before I posted the first chapter someone published a fic with the same title *sob* Just tell me if I rant too much on ANs.... BTW feel free to rant as much as you want in the reviews, I love reading them!!!  
  
  
  
  
Double Reflections  
Chapter 2  
  
  
Genrou almost growled in disgust. Was someone really living in such a warped-up little reality? Sure, killing someone was pretty bad but it wasn't worth wasting your whole life mourning them. It was time to shake up the Merry Angst Wonderland a bit.   
  
" 'Ya really think just jumpin' in to the river'll solve something? And here I've always been thinking you were the clever guy...'  
  
Chichiri lifted his face to meat the younger man's gaze. 'You do not understand, Tasuki-kun. I only bring pain to those around me.'  
  
'Quit the melodramatics! There ain't many more efficient ways of causing pain to the folks around ya than committing a suicide!'  
  
'But surely everyone would be better off without me. And besides, do you think someone would really care?'   
  
Tasuki was amazed at the fact that someone could actually say such things with a straight face. It was time someone told Chichiri a few well-chosen facts of life. 'Well, maybe they'd care if they knew something was wrong! I mean, how the hell d'ya expect someone to be able to pick up your mood if ya're keeping that fuckin' mask on all the time?!? If ya'd just let even one person pass through those damned barriers of yours, ya'd maybe notice that someone actually cares!' "  
  
There. That should do it. Suddenly Genrou heard Kouji calling him from the corridor and almost spilled his coke all over the keyboard while trying to switch to his history essay faster than a shoujo manga heroine eating choclate and manage to look like he'd been typing it all along.  
  
"Whazzup, buddy?" the blue haired boy greeted Genrou cheerily. "Ya look kinda flustered..."  
  
"Naw, it's nothin'... This history essay's just killin' me..." Genrou desperately hoped he sounded off-handed enough not to arouse any suspicions.  
  
"Well, ya better do it man, or ya're gonna fail the whole class. And ya really can't afford that."  
  
"Ya really didn't have ta tell me that..." Genrou rolled his notes into a ball and threw them at Kouji, who almost got his foot stuck in the waste paper basket while trying to dodge.  
  
"Now what did I deserve that for?!?"  
  
"The doctrine of the story: never, ever mess with a red-head who has problems in history. C'mon, man! Let's go grap something to eat!"  
  
The two boys headed towards the cafeteria, Kouji's loud complaints echoing in the hall-way.  
  
  
***  
  
  
Now this was unexpected. Houjun had been almost certain there would be no answer at all, and even if there was, he'd been sure it would either be a bad pun or some half-hearted commiserating.   
  
But this. Like he was being scolded. Well, maybe he did deserve it... He had always had the tendency to get a bit too angsty from time to time, but lately there hadn't been much else to his life. At least the pain made him feel something... Even that was better than being all empty on the inside while trying to keep the happy act up. Houjun knew it wouldn't be very healthy continuing that line of thought so he started writing instead.  
  
" 'It's not that I want to keep everyone out. It's just that... if I let someone in, let someone see all sides of me, what if they don't like it? First being so exposed and then being left would just make me too vulnerable.'  
  
'What gives ya the picture that someone'd dump you just cuz they knew how ya really are?' The bandit was now frowning, apparently getting frustrated with the other man rolling in self-pity.  
  
'But certainly if people knew what hideous deeds I've done in my time they would definetely want nothing to do with me.'  
  
'Chiri. If people really care about each other, they won't turn ya down just because you've done somethin' that's not generally accepted. If someone's really done something like that to you, ya should just tell 'em go screw themselves.'  
  
'I guess you are right, Tasuki-kun, no da. It's just that I -' "  
  
Houjun typed down a few more sentences, erased them and wrote the same phrases again.   
  
It just didn't work. All he did was repeat the same thoughts over and over again, sounding like a complete idiot. He actually knew perfectly well what he should write, but he didn't want to admit the answer even to himself, not to mention some almost complete stranger.  
  
But then again, what did he have to lose?  
  
Slowly Houjun started typing again, all the time feeling like he was just about to jump from somewhere far too high for his taste.  
  
" Chichiri took a deep breath, as if bracing himself for an impact.  
  
'Maybe... Maybe I'm just afraid.' "   
  
  
  
  
AN: How was it? Crappy, ne? Just give me any kind of feed-back, even flame me if you feel like it... I know it's proceeding kinda slowly but I'm doing my best to keep them in character and Chichiri really is not someone who can start opening himself up just that easily... But we already took one huge step forward in this chapter!!! *_* 


	3. Genrou, meet Houjun

AN: Guys, you're making me so happy!!!!!! I'm so hyper I wrote most of this chapter 2:00 a.m. last night!!!!! Maybe these exclamation marks tell something too... Anyway, I'll be outta town for a while (forced to visit my parents) and then my roommate will be back, which means no more night-time writing...*sob* I wanna write... Here's the deal: you pay my ticket to USA so I can move together with Krissie and write at least a chapter a day. Onegai? *sad puppy-eyes* Well, I guess it was worth a try...  
  
I know I already told the whole fic is dedicated to Krissie but that still doesn't mean I can't rant here a bit about how much I love her... I'd completely forgotten the title...*sob* Love at First Write would have sounded so much better... I should write everything down... And, Krissie, if this sounds a bit familiar, ever wondered where I got the idea in the first place....? :: drifts of to her little fantasy land and starts dreaming about Krissie ::   
  
  
  
  
Double Reflections  
Chapter 3  
  
  
  
Now this was definitely a break-through. Genrou had a satisfied smile on his face as he started typing:  
  
" Tasuki looked at the older man. He seemed so uncharacteristically fragile. As long as the bandit had known him, the monk had always been the one supporting others, not the other way round. "  
  
Genrou stopped for a while. He was now only guessing, but if he'd figured out anything about the mysterious writer so far, it was that it was someone with a strong sense of responsibility. It wouldn't probably be that far-fetched to assume he was always trying to help everyone out despite his own problems.  
  
" He wasn't really sure how he could help the other man so he said the only thing he knew.  
  
'Chiri. It's okay. Who wouldn't be afraid of revealing all their thoughts to someone? It doesn't matter how scared you are, what matters is that you need to overcome your fears.' "   
  
Genrou still wasn't exactly sure about this. Maybe it would be easier to think coherently if he voiced his confusement through Tasuki.   
  
" Tasuki guessed Chichiri had always been a kind of an outsider, what with being the one who had to take care of everything instead of just having fun with the rest of them. "  
  
Suddenly something hit Genrou.  
  
Outsider. There was only one total social outcast in the whole school. That weird blue-haired guy, Houjun Ri or something... Was he really writing with him...?  
  
Well, there was more to everyone than could be seen from outside, Genrou guessed. All this time they had been living in the same dormitory and he'd never known that Houjun had such an enchanting world inside his head. Or such pain, for that matter. Now that he started thinking there had always been this kind of weird look to Houjun's eyes - no, eye, Genrou corrected himself. Houjun was one-eyed, right? Genrou wished he'd taken a better look at the boy some time...  
  
Genrou felt kind of odd. Being one of the 'popular guys', he should have immediately started thinking whom he was writing with, so as not to get caught hanging out with 'wrong kind' of people, but somehow he hadn't really cared... It had just felt so okay, like he had known Chichiri - no, Houjun - for a long time already. And who said anything had to change? He could just as well keep writing, as long as he didn't let anyone find out what he was doing.  
  
***  
  
It was history next. He's worst subject, but this time Genrou was actually looking forward to it as he had just remembered Houjun was in the same class.   
  
Genrou skipped happily to the class room, even arriving at time for once. He was sitting in the back of the class, so he would get a good look at Houjun without him noticing.  
  
"What's up with the goofy smile?" Kouji said as Genrou sat down still being in his private little fantasy land.  
  
Ooops. "Oh, nothin', I was just -" At that point the teacher arrived, saving Genrou from trying to come up with a good explanation. He usually had no problems with coming up with believable lies, but this time he had got all tounge-tied as he had just spotted Houjun a few places ahead of him.   
  
The boy was beautiful.  
  
That was the only word Genrou could come up with, the blue-haired youngster looked at the same time so ethereal and yet so persistent. Why hadn't he noticed it before? Well, he'd never actually looked, now that he started to think about it...  
  
"And now it is time to turn in your essays." The droning voice of the teacher slowly seeped through to Genrou's mind. Right. He had to concentrate on the lesson. Essays.  
  
Essays?!?  
  
Fuck. He had completely forgotten about the essay as he had just been typing the story. Now he was going to be in trouble. Big trouble.  
  
"Eh, teacher, I, eh, kinda forgot about the whole essay thing..."  
  
The teacher snorted in disgust. "With your attendance record I am hardly surprised, mister Kou. That is why I have seen it fit to assign you a personal teacher."  
  
Great. Now he'd be stuck with some 'Mr. Perfect Student' for the rest of the period...   
  
"Genrou, I want you to meat your new tutor, Houjun Ri."  
  
No way. This was too much of a coincidence. It had to be fate.  
  
Genrou was sure he was looking just like some cartoon character with his jaw dropping so hard it smashed the floor. Thankfully no-one noticed as all eyes were on Houjun. He had actually stood up, which was something no-one ever remembered him doing.  
  
"Mr. Harrington. I absolutely refuse to have anything to do with this. You know perfectly well that I am already taking more classes that everyone and using most of my free-time tutoring the fresh-men. I do not need any more distractions."  
  
"Nonsense, Houjun. You are taking the job and that's it. You are always helping everyone. Why should this be any different?"  
  
Houjun swallowed audibly. "Very well. I will take the assignement."  
  
For some reason Genrou couldn't help himself from grinning madly when he left the class-room 50 minutes later.  
  
  
  
  
AN: Oki... Maybe it was a bit of a clichée but I had far too much fun writing it.... ^_^ Anyway, chapter 4 is almost finished but I'm not sure when I'll be able to post it... 


	4. Break-down or break-through?

AN: I feel so dumb!!!! I can't believe I've kept miss-spelling a word like meet....I'm a total jerk.... The sad truth is that I'm not a native English-speaker so please notify me whenever I make stupid mistakes... I'm stuck in a crappy small country where no-one speaks English and they don't even know what words like manga and anime mean..... You guys try writing your fics in French or Spanish or what ever it is your taking.... Compared to that, I'm not that bad...? ::goes away looking very pitiful::   
  
Poor Krissie's still stuck in school... I hope this cheers you up... But you're not reading this, right? You're eagerly studying bio for the finals... ::grin:: For a while I thought I should put Chiri tutoring bio, I could've definitely gotten some extremely interesting plot-twist out of that one... ::goes all hentai and decides it's better drop the whole subject:: I love you, Krissie.......  
  
  
  
Double Reflections  
Chapter 4  
  
  
  
Houjun rushed out of the class when the bell rang. He knew he sould have stayed back and asked when would his first meeting with Genrou be held and what he was exactly supposed to teach him, but he really needed a moment alone. Another tutoring job! Until now it had been okay because he hadn't really had much anything else to do, but now that the mysterious Tasuki was writing to him, Houjun wanted to do nothing else but to disappear to his own world.   
  
And then there would be all the side-effects.   
  
He had made it so far without any real incidents, mostly because he had kept his head down, but now that he would be tutoring someone like Genrou, he would certainly be targeted by all the red-head's friends. They would hate him for stealing their social leader from them, Genrou would hate him for trying to teach him his worst subject and everyone else would hate him just because he was Houjun Ri.  
  
Houjun hoped the computer was free, at this point the story was the only thing that could keep him sane.  
  
To his amazement the whole dormitory was deserted. They were probably all planning a revenge on him already... Well, he would get to know it a lot sooner than he hoped for, that much was clear. Houjun opened the story and read the latest entry. It was short but somehow it made him feel incredibly good. He had been so sure the other writer would just laugh at him or not understand how much it meant for him to voice his fears. He could almost make himself believe that someone out there cared.   
  
Not really, but almost.  
  
" 'I've never been good at communicating with others. Hikou and Kouran understood me but then... How could I do it to them?!?' Chichiri broke down completely. It had been years since he had last cried but now he had finally reached his limits. Sobbing all the while he slowly started speaking:  
  
'I'm a complete mess. I just don't know how to act normally or to reach out for other people. I'm too scared of telling anything to anyone and there's not even anyone to whom I could try telling anything anymore. Everybody hates me and I just keep acting like nothing's wrong because that's the only way I know. I'm just too damn tired of this all.' "  
  
Houjun hoped he could break down just like Chichiri. It would feel so good to just be able to let it all go for a while and have a good cry in someone's lap, but he didn't dare even to let one tear-drop show as things would just get far too awkward if someone happened to walk in. That was one of the things that kept bothering him most in his current school: he could never have any real privacy as there was someone rushing in and out of the dorm all the time.  
  
Well, this line of thought wouldn't take him any further. Houjun sighed and saved the story.  
  
He'd better start looking through his history notes.  
  
  
***  
  
  
Houjun swearing? Now this was serious. Genrou typed as fast as he could:  
  
" The monk was completely hysterical. Very carefully, as not to scare the older man, Tasuki wrapped his arms around Chichiri.   
  
'Hush now, Chiri... It's okay... Everything's gonna be okay... I'm here....' "  
  
"What the fuck're ya lookin' so dreamy for?" Kouji said entering the dorm. Damn. He'd almost been caught. Maybe he could just pull it off if he played it cool enough.   
  
"None of your damn business. Maybe I'm writing a letter to my girl-friend."  
  
"As if you'd ever get one." Kouji dived under the bed before the various flying school-books could hit him.  
  
  
***  
  
  
Houjun was actually smiling. Well, he was smiling all the time when there were other people around, but this was his first genuine smile for months. He felt so loved.  
  
" Chichiri clung to Tasuki's shirt, still sobbing but already a lot calmer. 'Please don't leave me, Tasuki... I can't take this loneliness any longer. The monk buried his face on Tasuki's garments. 'This feels so good...' "  
  
Houjun decided to leave it there. He would have wanted to write so much more but he first wanted to see how the other man would react to his behaviour.  
  
  
  
  
AN: I know you guys probably all wanted to have the first meeting already, but I wanted to do this because the last chapter was completely Genrou and I really needed to explain Houjun's actions. The thing he doesn't even notice himself is that getting support from Tasuki has already given him so much strength that it's actually the ultimate reason he was able to try to stand up against the teacher... Too bad he failed, ne? ::hentai grin:: Please people, tell me what is it that you like in this fic so I can make it even better. I still can't believe someone actually likes this.... 


	5. Preparing for the lesson

AN: I miss Krissie... I haven't had a chance to write a decent letter for her in almost a week... Krissie, I just want you to know I'm thinking about you all the time I write this... and any other time, too, actually... I love you......  
  
There's probably even more typos in this chapter than usual cuz I didn't have time to read it therough after I finished it....  
  
  
  
  
Double Reflections  
Chapter 5  
  
  
  
  
Genrou stared at Houjun's entry. Somehow it struck him as one of the most heart-breaking things he'd ever seen. That guy who always seemed like he cared about nothing but his studies writing something so sensitive and, most of all, so helpless. In class Houjun was always in control, he knew everything and always had a clever answer if someone said anything to him.  
  
" Tasuki cradled Chichiri on his arms, speaking softly.  
  
'It's okay. Cry all ya want. If ya feel like talkin' ya can tell me what's wrong and if you don't, well, ya can just sit there 'til ya start feeling better. Ya know I won't leave you.' "   
  
This took even Genrou by surprise. Suddenly he realised he really wouldn't leave Houjun if there was anything he could do about it. Of course he wanted to help Houjun out but there was also more to it. He didn't feel like a complete person unless he was writing to Houjun. When he was fooling around with the other guys he always had to keep this certain act up, play it cool and do everything in a Genrou-way. With Houjun he felt more...balanced? He guessed that was the word. When he was writing, Genrou could be competely himself, he didn't have to be anything more than he really was. It just felt so okay...  
  
With a mad grin on his face Genrou continued:  
  
" 'Ya know, ya don't always have ta be so strong. It's okay to sit down and have a good cry in someone's lap from time to time. Ya're just takin' everything so seriously. Of course it's a good thing to have a strong sense of responsibility, but sometimes you're takin' it a bit too far.' "  
  
  
***  
  
  
" Chichiri lifted his face to meet the other man's eyes. His face was still wet from the tears but he had stopped crying.  
  
'You are the first person ever who thinks that way. Everyone else just takes me for granted, for them it is so natural me doing all their work for them that they don't even usually notice it. It is not that I don't like helping others but from time to time I need some time for myself. And not just that, I need someone who helps and supports me.' "  
  
There. Now it was said. Houjun felt relieved. For the first time in his life he had been able to admit that he wasn't perfect either, that he also had his moments of weakness. But he really couldn't show any kind of weak spot to anybody in the real world. They would immediately take advantage of the situation and make most of it whereas Tasuki seemed so trustworthy. Houjun knew Tasuki would comfort him and be there for him. Never before had anyone seemed so genuinely concerned with his well-being.   
  
Suddenly Houjun's reverie was crudely interrupted by some students rushing to the dorm. Houjun closed the story before they could get close enough to read and started gathering his school books. Seeing his history book gave him a nasty reminder of the reality. He would have his first meeting with Genrou in a few hours and he was beginning to feel very nervous. He would have so much more wanted to stay in the dorm writing than spend his evening listening to some flunk-out cursing at him. Tasuki was the only person in the world who cared for him so why did he have to end up spending the evening with Genrou instead?  
  
  
***   
  
  
"What the fuck are ya doin' jumpin' up and down like that, man?"   
  
Genrou had been pacing around the room, sitting down only to get up again. Tonight he would meet Houjun for the first time in real life and he didn't have the slightest clue as for what to say or how to act. Was Kouji really so thick he didn't get it? Of course he didn't know about Houjun at all but that still wasn't any excuse for abandoning a troubled friend...  
  
"Nawh, it's nothin' big really, I'm just kinda touchy cuz, ya know, I've got my first history lesson today with that creep and I'll have to behave myself if I want to pass the class and if I don't pass I'll be thrown out of school and then I won't be in the same school with ya guys anymore and then I won't be able to enjoy of your incredibly intellectual company any longer." Now that rant definitely showed just how nervous he was.  
  
Kouji put out his tongue at Genrou. "That's whatcha get for bein' a flunk-out."  
  
"That's a bit rich comin' from yar mouth..."  
  
"Hey, Gen, ya better get goin' unless ya want to anger yar new teacher by being late from yar first lesson ever. Remember ta treat him real nice!!!" Kouji added with a smirk which gave the words the exactly opposite meaning.  
  
"Yeah, I will." Genrou was pretty sure Kouji would have faced a very sudden death caused by a heart-attack if he had know that Genrou actually meant every word he said.  
  
  
***  
  
  
Houjun was standing at the class-room door. He was pretty sure the red-head would be there already in case he was going to arrive at all. Then again, considering it was Genrou, he probably wouldn't bother dragging himself there just for a history lesson or then he had prepared a nice, warm welcome like throwing tomatoes at the new teacher... Well, no point in just standing there in the corridor. What ever it was, he would just have to face it and try to keep his composure.  
  
Houjun put his hand on the door-handle.  
  
  
  
AN: A cliff-hanger!!!! Buahhahhahhaa!!!!! ::manical laughter echoes through fanfiction.net:: There's no way you can come and butcher me as I just happen to live in a different continent than most of you people!!!! Maybe I should just leave the story here for a couple of months... ::evil smirk:: Maybe if I got enough reviews I just might post the next chapter the day after tomorrow... ::hint hint:: *coughreviewcough* 


	6. Not that bad...

AN: I just finished a letter for Krissie... It ended up being 90 pages long so the next time you hear about me I'm probably being brutally attacked by angry postal office workers cuz I couldn't afford the stamps... It would be so much easier if we just lived a bit closer to each other... As for what continent I live on, why won't you try and guess? The first one who get's the country right will get a special request chapter dedicated just for them... Originally I didn't put up any info about my nationality cuz it would've made it just too easy for that certain non-yaoi person to guess it's me who's writing, but this could actually be fun...;) I'll reveal the continent at the beginning of the next chapter which will probably be posted tomorrow. And no blurbs from Meg and Krissie...   
  
Someone actually said in the reviews that it's cute how I keep telling how much I love Krissie and that the writer of that review actually envies us...Don't worry, you'll find someone someday... Just a few months ago we both had really screwed-up lives and no-one to talk to and everything just pretty much sucked and now we're a living proof that dreams do come true... Well, maybe you guys want the fic already... No, I'm not gonna miss an opportunity to say this: I love you, Krissie.... I hope you made it alive through your bio finals...  
  
  
  
  
Double Reflections  
Chapter 6  
  
  
  
  
Houjun stepped in to the class-room. Surprisingly his new student was already there waiting for him, more lieing than sitting on a low chair with his legs crossed and an impish smile on his face.  
  
"Genrou, was it?" Houjun asked, just to say something. As if he didn't know the name of the most popular guy in the whole school...   
  
"Ya remembered my name? I'm honored!" Yet another devilish smirk.  
  
Houjun sighed. This definitely wouldn't go well.  
  
  
***  
  
  
During the first few seconds with Houjun Genrou had already learned to hate himself. He had decided that he had to keep this certain act up at least for the first few meetings so Houjun wouldn't start wondering too much about some sudden changes in his personality. He could clearly see how nervous the blue-haired man was and he knew how hard it must be for him to try to act casually with someone like Genrou. The red-head had thought that a joke would ease the tension but he should have known that it would only make Houjun feel even more uncomfortable.  
  
"I am Houjun Ri, your new tutor." Your horoscope is Gemini, your birthday is May 21st and I know every fucking thing about you and I just feel so god-damn stupid. Not-so-coherent thoughts kept rushing through Genrou's head as he desperately tried to come up with something soothing to say.   
  
"Don't worry, I'm not gonna eat ya or anythin'", Genrou said, hoping that Houjun would really believe him. He was now speaking in such terrible clichés that to pretty much anyone else except for Houjun it would have been very apparent how nervous he actually was. It was so hard trying to play Genrou and still make Houjun feel better at the same time. The fiery-haired boy hoped he could have just rushed out from the empty class-room and get to the computer so he could straighten things out. "My fangs may disagree on the matter, though", he added, flashing his teeth. Now he sounded like a total jerk and that was exactly what he felt like.  
  
"I guess we should start the lecture. Mr. Harrington told me that you have had continuous troubles with history ever since you started college so we will be covering even the first-year courses."  
  
Genrou could have jumped up and started singing something extremely loud and happy when he understood that he would probably be spending most of the semester with Houjun if they really had to go through all that stuff. He was already almost grinning when he remembered his role and quickly changed it into a growl of disgust.  
  
"Man, history's just so boring." But it was. He'd rather just keep staring at Houjun for the rest of the evening than open some boring text-book... This almost made him smile again and he quickly tried to concentrate on what Houjun was saying.   
  
"We shall start with the juridical system of the ancient Rome. Even our juridical system is based on that one of Rome and it..." Genrou kept listening the whole evening because it gave him an excuse to stare openly at Houjun. Even his voice was so beautiful. It had a slightly odd quality to it but once Genrou got used to it he let every word sink straight to his heart.  
  
  
***  
  
  
Well, it hadn't been that bad. Houjun felt almost hopeful as he walked back to the dorm down the corridor. Most lights were shut down already as their tutoring sessions were taking place late at night when they wouldn't disturb any of the daily routines. Genrou had already left but Houjun had had to stay behind to clear up the class room. He felt glad he didn't have to walk down the dark corridor with the other teen, especially after what he'd said about his fangs... Houjun knew it had been a joke but it still made him feel a bit uneasy. Genrou had actually looked like he was listening, though. Maybe he was going to take his studies seriously for a change. At least he hadn't done anything nasty. Now if there would only be a new entry from Tasuki Houjun's night would turn out just fine.  
  
  
***  
  
  
Genrou lay on his bed, thinking about the evening. Nothing had really happened but they would meet again the day after tomorrow.  
  
Somehow the fact that Houjun slept only a few beds away from him had suddenly become very disturbing.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
AN: It totally sucked... I know most of you guys would have wanted some action already but that would screw up the story line... Now they just kept talking the whole evening... But that's exactly what Chiri would do... Blame Yu Watase, not me... Now that was pitiful... But I majorly suck... maybe I better give up the whole thing........ 


	7. Now what?

AN: Thank you for all the nice people who have added this story to their favourite lists!!!! A lowly writer is eternally grateful for the support!!!  
  
Now here comes the first real clue for where I live: the stamps for Krissie's letter cost me 4 euros... Which by the way means I won't be eating anything for a while... I'm totally broke... But it's worth it when I'm writing to Krissie.... I love you....   
  
  
  
  
Double Reflections  
Chapter 7  
  
  
  
Houjun was crossing through the yard to get to the library located on the other side. He needed to get some material for his biology essay which was due tomorrow. Suddenly someone grabbed his arm.  
  
"Hey, if it's not mr. Perfect himself!!"   
  
Great. Now it was beginning. Some thugs, friends of Genrou's probably, had caught him and no-one would dare to interfere because it would only get them into trouble, too, including the teachers.  
  
"Wanna tell us about World War II while we beat you to a pulp?" Even in a situation like this Houjun couldn't help wondering if there was some Play It Tough for Dummies because they all used more or less the same lines every time something like this happened. And then there were those identical stupid grins.  
  
If only his arms were free... Even though Houjun wasn't very strong he was fast enough so he could have probably dodged most of the hits. Now he didn't stand a chance.  
  
  
***  
  
  
Genrou was sitting on the fence with Kouji, idly chatting about how annoying most of the teachers were. The noises coming from the corner of the library kept bugging him so he raised his head to see what was happening. The guys were probably scaring some first-years... Sure enough, there was the all too familiar ring with someone caught in the middle. Someone with blue hair...  
  
"Hold on a sec, Kouji, I gotta go check that out..."  
  
  
***  
  
  
The first kick caught him in the ribs. Houjun fell to the ground and tried to cover his head so he wouldn't get seriously hurt. Second one in the back. They hadn't really started yet, this wouldn't leave any permanent damage. The third blow would land any second now. Houjun braced himself for the impact, now it would hit him and break him and-  
  
"Hey, live him alone!!"  
  
Now what was up?  
  
  
***  
  
  
Genrou kicked the guy who was just about to attempt crushing Houjun's ribs.  
  
"Since when have ya started playin' his guardian angel, Genrou?" The thugs were obviously pissed off as their little game had been disturbed.  
  
"He's my history teacher. How the hell d'ya think I'll avoid being kicked outta the school if ya beat up my tutor so badly that I can't make him do my homework anymore?!?"   
  
That probably sounded selfish enough. People never thought very coherently while being violent so these guys should be easy enough to fool.  
  
"Just go, ya fuckin' assholes!!!! Go before I get really mad!!!" Genrou bared his teeth with an angry growl.  
  
  
***  
  
  
Houjun lay on the ground, his thoughts drifting. Maybe the clichés weren't that bad when they were coming from someone on your side...   
  
"Ya okay?" A nice, warm voice...  
  
Suddenly reality.  
  
Houjun jumped up and patted dust off his clothes. He shouldn't show any kind of weakness to Genrou, even if the red-head had just saved him. Houjun still couldn't be sure if it was just some elaborate trick to get him off-balance.   
  
  
***  
  
  
Genrou looked at Houjun. The boy looked so fragile he wanted to wrap his arms around him and tell him he'd protect him for the rest of his life.  
  
"I'll tell the guys to live ya alone, okay?" That would have to do for now. "Listen, I gotta go now, Kouji's waitin' and all, but if they still keep buggin' ya tell them I said you're under my protection, okay?" Genrou felt like a complete jerk throwing 'okay' at the end of every sentence but he was desperate to get any kind of answer from the blue-haired man.   
  
  
***  
  
  
Houjun stared at Genrou totally dumb-struck. Why was the supposed gang-leader playing so nice suddenly?  
  
For the first time in a very long time Houjun Ri felt confused.  
  
  
  
AN: Yet another cliché chapter... but I really wanted to do this... at least this felt better when writing than the last one... I hope at least someone liked it... I think it's cute how Genrou's being protective and supportive and, most of all, unselfish... 


	8. What is it that you want?

AN: I can't believe it!!!!! 100 reviews!!!!!! I want to thank you all once again for supporting me and especially Krissie, mostly for being there... I really love you.... I finished most of this chapter around 5 o'clock in the morning after being writing to you for almost three hours... Now I really gotta go and take a nap...  
  
Oh, BTW people, as especially this chapter came out pretty soon after the previous one, could you please do me a favour and review them seperately if you happen to find two new chapters at once? That magical little number right next to the word reviews is equal to my writing speed... If I'm not getting enough reviews I just might end up being cruel and wait until I've gotten a certain amount for each chapter before uploading the next one... I'm sorry, guys, you just were so great giving me feed-back that I got greedy...^_~   
  
  
  
  
Double Reflections  
Chapter 8  
  
  
  
  
Houjun hurried down the corridor. He was almost late from his second meeting with Genrou, and he was still wondering whether it would be wiser not to show up at all. He was sure the red-head was after something, he wasn't the type who kept saving people just for fun. Houjun arrived to the door. Too late to turn back now.   
  
  
***  
  
  
Genrou looked up as Houjun opened the door. At least the boy looked like he was okay. Genrou hadn't had a chance to write for Houjun in three days, the longest time they had been 'separated' so far. He had been worrying if Houjun's self-destructive streak would surface without Tasuki continuously supporting him but the blue-haired boy seemed to cope well enough. Well, he had made it so far by himself... There wasn't really any reason for Genrou to suppose Houjun would get desperate just because he wasn't writing but it felt so nice to think that what he did really had a meaning to someone... It was one of the best feelings in his life so far.  
  
  
***  
  
  
Houjun was beginning to feel a bit uneasy. The lesson had now lasted for a bit more than an hour and the boy hadn't looked away from his face even once. He really couldn't believe Genrou was so interested in the effects of the feodal system in the daily life of a peasant. Maybe he'd better play it openly.  
  
"Okay, Genrou. What is it that you want?"  
  
  
***  
  
  
Houjun's words hit him so suddenly that Genrou didn't even realise he'd changed the subject at first, he was just trying to figure out what his wants had to do with the feodal system when he finally realised what Houjun had said. He realised he had been engulfed in studying Houjun's features for the better part of an hour - Houjun's fault for being so damn intriguing... But that wouldn't really sound very clever if he said it out loud; he needed an explanation and he needed it fast. And it better be good.  
  
"Please answer me."  
  
I want you. Can't you see I'm - was he really falling for Houjun? He hadn't really thought it that way earlier but now that he realised it it made many of his recent actions seem a lot more reasonable. But he didn't have time to dwell on the subject right now and he definitely couldn't just blurp it out. He knew that the more he stalled the more awkward the situation would get.  
  
"First of all I wanna apologise for that home-work comment. I've got no intention of any kind to force ya to do anything for me, I just said it to get those guys off your tail."  
  
  
***  
  
  
Houjun blinked. Now what was the red-head talking about? He vaguely remembered Genrou yelling something like that when he was lieing on the ground, but he hadn't really been paying much attention. Now it confused him even more.  
  
"Then why are you acting so nice towards me if you are not pursuing any personal profit?"  
  
  
***  
  
  
"C'mon, ya can't really believe that everyone's like those assholes yesterday!" I'm not an' I want ya to see it, damn it! "Ya seem to think world is a really cruel place. Believe me, it's not that bad." Genrou said, offering a friendly smile. He desperately hoped it made Houjun feel better and also that it made the blue-haired man see him differently, at least a bit more closer to the truth. Somewhere deep in his mind Genrou had already decided he wouldn't tell Houjun that he was actually Tasuki before he had first made Houjun love him for what he was as Genrou. Another thing he wanted was for Houjun to find out the world to be at least a slightly better place. Genrou didn't want to see Houjun looking like he was on the brink of a breakdown all the time. Seeing Houjun in pain hurt him.  
  
The fiery-haired boy looked up to meet Houjun's eyes. To his surprise Houjun was staring at the table, lost somewhere deep within himself. Had his words really had such an effect? He'd only meant them as a bit of an encouragement but now that Houjun was sitting there he looked just too damn kissable...  
  
Genrou grabbed the edge of the table before he did anything he would have to regret later. "Well, I think we were stuck in the middle of the feodal system in eastern Europe... Ya know, I'm really tryin' to pass this class."   
  
Of course he was trying. It was the only way he could stay close to Houjun.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
AM: I hope it wasn't too messed up, I really haven't had enough sleep... I don't think there's much point in going back to bed as it's 5:44 already but I guess I should...   
  
Well, guys, I just slept three hours and I'm hyper again. I'll start typing the next chapters but it will be at least a couple of days before I can post anything because I'm forced to visit my parents again... As for where this story is going, all I can say right now is that this is gonna be a hell of a long story-line and, yes, the rating might just get up...^_~ Okay, people, r&r, I'm happy even for flames... You can even mail me suggestions, if you want to. I'm not that scary, you know... And blatant praise is always welcome!!! ^_~ 


	9. Besides...

AN: Just had a letter from Krissie and she cleared her finals! YAY!!! I'm proud of you... I wish I was there so I could give you a hug... I'm still all mushy from reading your letter and I feel so incredibly good and I wanted to answer it straight away but I can't cuz a certain someone is home... Just wanted to say I love you...   
  
I'm so happy that there have been so many people reviewing who have said they usually don't read TasxChi at all...Beware, it's all part of mine and Krissie's plan for world yaoi!!! Unless you all admit that Tasuki and Chichiri were made for each other Wonder Krissie will come and strike you down!!! ::gets delirious:: Oki, back to normal... I'm really glad if I've been able to convince someone with my writing...of Chichiri and Tasuki as a couple or just relationships between two people of same sex in general...  
  
  
  
  
  
Double Reflections  
Chapter 9  
  
  
  
  
Houjun was sitting under a tree in the school grounds, enjoying the cooling evening. He was usually the only one who spent time outdoors and that secured him at least one peaceful moment daily. He loved watching the sunset, it always cleared his mind and at the moment it definitely needed a lot of clearing. Nothing made sense anymore: Genrou was protecting him, Tasuki cared for him... Had he ended up in some alternate universe? He really didn't care whether it was real or not, all that mattered was that he was happier than he remembered being for a very long time.  
  
It was Friday night and that meant all the other guys in the dormitory would be out. He would finally have the computer all for himself. Houjun smiled. Maybe world really wasn't that bad a place.  
  
  
***  
  
  
"Hey, Kouji, hold on a sec, I forgot my jacket in the dorm!!!"  
  
"At that rate ya'll forget yar ass if ya're not careful!!!" Genrou threw an angry look at his friend but he really didn't have time to waste on trying to find something more solid to throw at Kouji.  
  
"Ya just keep yar big mouth shut, okay?" He didn't seem to be able to get even one original sentence out of his mouth nowadays. Well, not that he was exactly concentrating... His mind seemed to drift to Houjun no matter what he was doing or whom he was talking to. What was up with him?  
  
Genrou raced to the computer knowing he would only have a few seconds. "Forget my foot...", he smirked. At least he would now have time to write a couple of lines.  
  
" 'Chiri. What's past is past. Ya can't change it, no matter how much ya keep tormentin' yourself. Just let it go.' Tasuki raised his hand to wipe tears away from Chichiri's cheek. 'Ya don't have to be alone anymore. I'm here for you. "  
  
That would keep Houjun alive over the week-end.  
  
  
***  
  
  
Houjun peeked in to the dormitory. When he was sure no-one was around he rushed to open the computer in a very uncharacteristically exited manner. He was already prepared for a disappointment when he saw how short Tasuki's new entry was but when he read what the other man had written...  
  
Houjun couldn't help it. He just had to start smiling like some brainless first-year. World definitely wasn't that bad a place.  
  
" Thoughts raced in Chichiri's mind. He felt so incredibly good for having finally found someone who seemed to genuinely care for him but at the same time there was a small voice in his head that just wouldn't leave him alone. It asked the same question over and over: why? Why would anyone in their right minds care enough for him to really want to be with him? He wanted to smile at Tasuki and tell him he would be alright as long as the bandit didn't leave him but he couldn't help himself. He just had to ask it.  
  
'But can I really trust you?'   
  
Chichiri desperately hoped he hadn't hurt the bandit who was only being nice to him but he just had to be sure. And it wasn't just that: he had already learned to care enough for Tasuki that he wanted to be able to be completely open with him. "  
  
Houjun started feeling better immediately now that he had written his worries down. The best thing was that he didn't have to be scared anymore: he felt like he could really count on Tasuki understanding.   
  
  
***  
  
  
Genrou was grinning like a maniac. Houjun had trusted him enough to ask him if he could actually trust him! Not that it sounded so great when he said it like that, but he knew how much it meant for Houjun just to say anything to anyone so openly. Now he just had to hope he was worth Houjun's trust...  
  
" 'Ya can't always be sure if ya can count on people or not. Ya just gotta take a chance. It's kinda like flyin'. Ya just gotta jump down from the cliff and hope everythin' goes okay. An' ya gotta believe in yourself. That's the only way ya can learn to fly. Who knows, it just might work...' "  
  
Genrou felt like he was right on the edge of the cliff and he definitely didn't have a parachute with him. But Houjun had said he wanted to be completely open.  
  
Right. Completely open. So it was time to stop playing almighty.  
  
" This would definitely ruin his reputation as the toughest guy around, but if it was for Chichiri he really didn't mind.   
  
Tasuki took a deep breath.  
  
'Besides, I need you too.' "  
  
  
  
  
  
AN: This is the first chapter I had to partially rewrite completely. The first draft was just awful, it pretty much included all the worst clichés in the genre of romance. I actually like the second half of this chapter myself, which is quite rare...I guess it was mostly because of an idea it gave me, though... Please guys, tell me what you think. It means a lot to me.  
  
Oh, BTW, if there was too much grinning, there's a good explanation for it... Wonder why I just started thinking about Krissie... ^_~ ::goes away whistling innocently:: 


	10. Mask off

AN: Whoohoo!!! Chapter 10!!! It's party time!!!!! Oki, sorry guys, this chapter may actually get a bit gloomy cuz I'm kinda depressed... I just used the last of my money to get to a job interview in a nearby city and then those bastards call and tell me they've picked someone else... And I haven't been able to write to Krissie for days... This ain't fair... ::sob:: Besides, I ain't got a clue as for what to write for the first half of this chapter... I have the ending alright, it's one of those things that made want to slap myself on the back and become temporal egomaniac when I wrote the last chapter... duh... writer's blocks should be banned... not that this really is a writer's block: I know exactly where going and want to write the next chapters but I need a little filler here... the explanaion's after the story... Maybe you guys don't notice it if I just write stupid author's notes one whole chapter's worth... ::sweatdrop:: Oki, maybe you guys really want the story...   
  
Yay... fixed it.... not angst-alert anymore... and it didn't even become an annoying filler... probably lot of typos, though...  
  
  
  
  
Double Reflections  
Chapter 10  
  
  
  
  
  
"Hey, Houjun, can ya gimme a hand with this?" Houjun turned around to see an uncharacteristically anxious-looking Genrou holding out a physics book. "I know it's really not yer job to help me with anything else than history and there's this bit of diffraction I don't get and you're always so clever and everythin' -"   
  
Houjun decided to be merciful and simply answer give his answer to the boy before he would run out of breath completely and collapse to the floor due to the lack of oxygen.  
  
"Sure. I'll be glad if I can be of any help now that I have seen how hard you are actually studying."  
  
For some reason this made Genrou blush slightly. "How could ya ever have doubted my extreme diligence?" Genrou said in a mock tone flashing his toothy grin, but then he turned serious again. Well, at least as serious as someone with red hair and protruding fangs ever could. "Not that I've actually been doing much anythin' before. Now I just decided that it was time to do somethin' the right way for a change but I'm so behind in every subject that I'm not sure if I'll ever make it through finals alive..."  
  
"Shall we go to the library?"  
  
  
***  
  
  
  
It had worked!!! His plan to get some private time with Houjun had come out perfectly! He had said to the other guys that he had to go beg some pills from the nurse because he still had such a hang-over from the previous night and none of the folks he used to hang with ever came close to the library so there wasn't much of a risk of getting caught. Even if someone saw them he could always say that he hadn't wanted them to know he was studying, which actually was also true. It would so ruin his character...   
  
"Hey, Houjun, d'ya think we could go sit there in the corner where we're not so easy to spot? I know this is gonna sound a bit weird but I'd really prefer it if we weren't seen hangin' together outside the tutorin' hours cuz it could kinda get us both into a helluva lotsa trouble..."  
  
"Ah, right, no mingling between different social groups, and definitely not the popular ones and the weirdos." Was Houjun actually trying to be sarcastic?  
  
"Sorry, I didn't mean it that way. It's not that I really care but some of those guys can be such narrow-asses that it's just easier this way", Genrou tried to cover up. He hoped he hadn't hurt Houjun.  
  
"Don't you think I am the one who should know it?" There was a certain bitterness to the blue-haired man's tone of voice but Genrou had already learned to read Houjun well enough to know that if he had really hurt Houjun all he would have got back was a bright smile clearly stating that nothing was at all...  
  
"Ah, excuse me, I must have drifted off for a moment. Let's get straight to the point. Diffraction, was it?"  
  
  
***  
  
  
Houjun blinked. He seemed to have developed a bad habit of smiling fondly at the screen whenever he wrote to Tasuki. That might cause some nasty questions if someone was present but as Houjun was alone in the dormitory again je allowed himself at least one genuine smile for a change.   
  
Besides, he just had to smile. The feeling that he was needed as a person instead of a counselor or some other tool for success made him feel so special. This was even added by the fact that Tasuki had dropped even the last ripples of his tough-bandit act by admitting that he could also feel unsecure from time to time. Houjun felt closer to Tasuki than ever before now that they had both removed their masks. He hoped he could make Tasuki understand just how much it meant to him. Still smiling gently Houjun started typing:  
  
" 'There's no way I could ever leave you. You see, your sign is wing, no da? I finally figured out what it means.  
  
You are my wings.   
  
I need you to be free, to be able to fly.' Chichiri smiled gently at the bandit. 'I'll always be here for you, that's what love is all about.' "  
  
Hold on a second.  
  
Love?!?!?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
AN: Okay, guys. This is kinda the end of the first part of the storyline. Houjun's little mental problems have been mostly taken care of, he's no longer on the brink of a break-down and feels that life could actually be quite nice. He and Genrou have now both recognised that there's something deeper developing between them and from now on they'll have to face different kind of problems: how to cope with their new sexual identities, how to act around other people, and whether there will eventually come a moment when it all becomes more than just a story... Tune in for these breath-taking answers tomorrow at the same time!!! (...the time being when my sis goes take a shower so I can get my hands on the compy...... wonder if that brought the tension of my commercial down a bit...?) 


	11. Morning sun

AN3: I wrote this just before ffn crashed and I've been adding some ANs each time i tried to post so now there's a ridiculous amount of them... I'll be away for a week or so but after that i'll start updating regularly again... in case I can make a week without a connected compy...   
  
I miss Krissie.......  
  
AN: ::insert a crappy fanfare here:: Welcome to the second story-arc of Double Reflections!!! I want to take this opportunity to thank all those who have bothered reading this far!!! I love you all!!!!! And especially Krissie!!!!!!!! Oki, if you've read this far you probably knew it already...but that's beside the point... It's love that matters...  
  
Gwah... Shouldn't have posted the last chapter without reading it through first... There's incredibly embaressing typos: one complete word missing and one too much cuz I accidentally didn't delete it when I changed some part of the phrase... ::goes hide in a corner face all red:: But good news: you'll get the final, edited version of Double Reflections on sweetdeily's page as soon as I've fixed it all... There'll probably be even some extra material...Double Reflections - Special Edition: Director's Cut!!! ::gets all delirious and goes away mumbling something insidious about re-releases:: actually, re-releases are cool...oki, that was beside the point...  
  
AN2: Sorry, folks, things have been kinda screwed up and I haven't been able to get even near the compy. This chapter had been hanging around my hard-drive so long that I decided to risk it and sneak to the compy so I could post it. Sorry for not answering my mail for over a week, I should be able to write tomorrow.... I hope....  
  
Special thanks for Xellas M. for checking my crappy grammar, it is highly appreciated!!! ...can't anyone else here give any kind of creative cricism....? ::hinthint::  
  
  
  
  
  
Double Reflections  
Chapter 11  
  
  
  
  
He loves me, he loves me, he loves me! The thought pounded over and over in Genrou's head.  
  
Genrou was jumping around the dormitory, making everyone else moan in agony. It was Sunday morning and most of the guys were suffering major hang-overs from the previous night's activities. Genrou, however, hadn't had one drop of booze because he had been completely lost in his reveries about Houjun. Everyone had probably thought he was high on something heavier than mere alcohol, as he had just sat in a corner with a goofy smile all night. Well, at least it had kept them from asking any questions.  
  
Genrou was called back to Earth by a loud scream when he more or less accidentally jumped on Kouji's stomach. "D'ya have the slightest idea what time it is?!"  
  
"It's 6:40 on Sunday morning, it's lovely weather, the sun is shining and-" The rest of Genrou's rant was cut off by Kouji's loud yell: "No!!!! Wait, fuck! Not the draperies!!!" It was too late already: the previously mentioned lovely sunshine filled the room causing everyone to try grabbing anything close at hand to draw over their heads.  
  
"Guys, don't ya wanna see how beautiful the world is?" Genrou was still totally hyper.  
  
"At this time of day I don't wanna see anythin' at all and especially not yer terrifyingly cheerful face hovering over me...", came Kouji's voice from under a pile of pillows.  
  
"Losers!!! I'll go enjoy the wonders of nature by myself then, if ya all wanna keep wallowing in self-pity the whole day..."  
  
"Good. Go have a nice, long walk, and when yer brains have caught up with ya, come back and keep yer mouth shut for the rest of the day."  
  
"That's cold, man, cold..."  
  
  
***  
  
  
Houjun was smiling in the corner. He had come back from the showers just in time to see Genrou's perfomance. Part of him wished he could sometimes let it all go and do something as wild as everything the red-head did, but he just wasn't that kind of a person. Well, that wasn't exactly true. Houjun didn't really believe that people were destined to be stuck in just one role whole their lives. He mostly kept quiet only because he had no-one to fool around with. When Hikou and Kouran had been alive things had been totally different: he had been laughing and having fun just like any other teen-ager.   
  
Maybe he should just try to do something to break out of his isolation. Even though he enjoyed being by himself Houjun had recently started to yearn more and more for any kind of human contact. Maybe the wounds in his soul were finally healing. With Tasuki's support he had overcome his fears bit by bit. It felt incredible that they had known each other for only a few weeks. With Tasuki on his side Houjun felt reborn.  
  
  
***  
  
  
Genrou was already half-way down the corridor when he remembered he hadn't actually written anything to Houjun. Well, there would be time... Houjun really loved him! Genrou didn't remember when he had last been feeling so good without his brain being filled with some chemical or another. Maybe he really didn't need any of that stuff. Houjun was ten times better!  
  
Genrou was just playing with the idea of selling chibi Houjuns ("Cures your addictions! Solves your every problem!") when he suddenly heard foot-steps closing in behind him. The only other person who would be up this early in the weekend was -  
  
"Houjun?"  
  
The blue-haired man smiled at him. As far as Genrou remembered, it was the first time he had ever seen Houjun smile for real. His fake smiles always had this certain streched quality to them which the red-head had learned to spot after keeping observing Houjun for most of the time he should have been listening in class.   
  
"That was quite a show you put up there."  
  
What was this? Houjun talking to him voluntarily? This was too good to be true. Now he just had to be careful not to screw it up. "Sorry if I woke ya. But can't deny it was worth seeing their faces, ne?"  
  
"Oh, it didn't bother me at all. I'm usually awake that early. I was actually on my way out when you started it. I love walking out here during sunrise and sunset, it's so peaceful. As you said, the world really is beautiful."   
  
"Yeah... I only came to realize it a while ago." Genrou wanted to hit himself on the head with something. He sounded like some theatrical soap-opera! And if he kept saying stuff like that Houjun would soon count one plus one and get an interesting revelation and Genrou didn't feel he was up to the conversation that would probably ensue just yet.  
  
"Would you like to come with me? There's a wonderful view from that hill over there, I doubt you have ever been there."  
  
Did he want to go? Man, that was a hard question...  
  
"I'd love to", Genrou said with a wide grin.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
AN: Sorry guys, I decided to split this chapter in two parts... Originally there was going to be even another part of the story line stuffed into this chapter but it kinda got out of hands... I feel like those guys are living their own lives in my head from time to time... All I gotta do is watch them fooling around and type it down... I really love doing this fic... But now I digressed... What I was gonna say was that the reason I didn't put it all here at once is that I'm trying to keep these chapters pretty much equal size, about a thousand words each. Only chapter 7 was shorter but it wrked so well by itself that I decided it better not to tinker too much... It's the story that matters, not the words... Maybe I better shud up now......  
  
Oh, one more thing: if someone asks just how thick Houjun is if he can't make the connection between Tasuki and the miraculously changed Genrou who pretty much tells him the same things as the bandit, I'll give you no comment... ::sweatdrop:: Actually I do have an explanation: as the whole fic is more or less about the different roles we play, Houjun is so used to just seeing Genrou as Genrou that he really wouldn't notice anything unless someone specifically pointed it out. Guys, it's a proven fact... Whee... Now I feel so clever... I actually filled one of my main plot-holes... And did almost one chapter's worth of author's notes.......just ignore me, oki? 


	12. Falling....

AN2: I wrote this chapter ages ago, but I haven't been abe to post it cuz my connection's been down for almost a month now. ::shudders:: No idea how I'm still alive. I stayed over at the place I work in just so I could post this for you guys. I hope you guys appreciate my sacrifice ::starts playing the tragic hero:: Ah, yes, as I was just saying, expect the next update somewhere around 2009 cuz that's prolly when I'll get my compy connected again.... This isn't fair....::sob::  
  
AN: Well guys, I just finished writing a nice interlude chapter which won't take place for a while, though... just needed a break from the main story-line, mostly cuz this chapter just didn't work... The extra-chapter came out just fine, though... I was having so much fun... let's just say that it takes place after the guys have already met...don't you just love the smell of fresh lemons in the wind? ^_~ ::goes away whistling innocently:: My ultimate goal is to make at least one person to get a nose-bleed once I get far enough in the story-line...^_~ Actually I think it's time for a little poll: do you want me to continue like this or speed up things a bit and get to the 'intersting' parts? I'm tempted to pick the latter one but it'd probably hurt the storyline... Hey, I'm trying to have an actual plot here... at least kinda... ::sweat-drop:: If my only goal would be to get these two guys screwing each other like rabbits, I wouldn't have written twelve chapters with them just talking...  
  
  
  
  
  
Double Reflections  
Chapter 12  
  
  
  
  
Houjun led the way in silence. The questions in his mind kept him too distracted and besides, he had no idea as for what to say. Why had he asked Genrou to come with him in the first place? And more importantly, why had the red-head agreed to the invitation? Houjun could understand Genrou putting up a show like the one in the dormitory just to irritate everybody, but why would he want to spend the morning admiring the sun-rise with a loser like Houjun? Houjun wanted to ask all those questions but he couldn't blurb any of them out just like that. He had to come up with something to say, though, before the silence became too awkward.  
  
  
***  
  
  
"I just realized I still haven't thanked you for saving me back then."   
  
Houjun's sudden remark made Genrou almost stumble over his own feet. Had Houjun worked out who he was? When he realized that Houjun was only talking about the thugs that had been bullying him a few days ago. Genrou felt so relieved for not having to start explaining anything that he just said the first thing that popped into his mind. Well, he always did that anyway...  
  
"Oh, t'was my pleasure, feels kinda nice when ya can use your reputation for a good cause for once and besides, I don't that kinda jerks who keep picking on someone just cuz he's different. I mean, c'mon, everyone's different, that's kinda one of the main things in being human..."  
  
Genrou wondered what Houjun might say if he knew the real reason why Genrou had suddenly started preaching about everybody's right to be what they were.   
  
  
***  
  
  
"It is nice to hear that you at least think that way. Most people can't even tolerate my presence because I make them feel uncomfortable." Houjun was quite sure that even Genrou would consider him as a freak as soon as the red-head found out he was gay. Even Houjun himself had been slightly shocked about this new discovery to his identity, but then he had started thinking that it really wasn't that big a deal. He was still the same person.  
  
"That's cuz they're narrow-assed jerks who are scared of everyone different cuz being different means yer using yer own brain."  
  
"You seem to have quite strong opinions on the subject."  
  
"Well, I got my reasons..."  
  
  
***  
  
  
Genrou was wondering whether he should just tell Houjun he was gay, that would give a good explanation for the sudden changes in his behaviour, but it would feel so odd to just say it like that. And what if he had understood Houjun wrong? What if the blue-haired man didn't love him after all? Or maybe Houjun wanted to keep it just in the story. Maybe it was only words... Or what if Houjun thought he didn't need Tasuki anymore now that he didn't feel suicidal any longer?  
  
He knew that Houjun probably waited him to continue but he didn't have the slightest idea as for what to say. Genrou tried desperately to come up with some way to switch the subject, but his mind was drawing a blank. What did normal people talk about? The weather? Genrou had never got the point of commenting on something that could be clearly seen by just looking around. Their families, maybe? That would probably lead to questions about Genrou's own family and even the thought made him wince.   
  
Suddenly the ground disappeared from underneath him faster than a box of chocolate in front of a shoujo manga heroine. Genrou lost his footing, and grabbed Houjun's arm, trying to steady himself. Instead he ended up pulling them both down the hill-side. He had been so deep in thought that he hadn't noticed that they had been walking on the edge of a small cliff.   
  
"God, Houjun, ya okay?"  
  
"I believe the God is doing just fine but I hurt my shoulder...", came Houjun's weak voice from somewhere near Genrou's elbow. The red-head realized he had probably hit Houjun on the right side of his upper body. Houjun was now sitting up, kneading the muscles on the base of his neck.  
  
Now Houjun would probably never want to see him again... Why did he have to be so god-damn clumsy?  
  
"Here, lemme help ya up!" Genrou offered his hand to Houjun and almost forgot to pull the other man up from the ground, marvelling Houjun's lean but strong fingers. "I'm so sorry, I should've watched where I was goin' but -" Genrou realized he was still holding Houjun's hand and let go immediately. He hoped Houjun hadn't noticed anything.   
  
"It was nothing, really. I am perfectly alright."  
  
The hell you are, Genrou wanted to say but decided it better to keep his mouth shut for once. They walked the rest of the way in silence, Houjun apparently completely oblivious to the worried look in Genrou's eyes.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
AN: Wheehee!!!!! I'm so proud of myself!!!! I resisted the temptation to make Genrou land on top of Houjun!! I actually avoided one cliché!!! There's even a very good reason for it, you'll see it in the next chapter, which I'm gonna start writing straight away. I'm on a roll! And I didn't even make them sit under a tree admiring the sun-rise... That would've been too out of character for Genrou... well, not really, but - oki, even I don't know what I'm trying to say so let's just drop it... probably that too much fluff this early in the storyline would feel kinda out of place and the guys haven't really had any real trouble yet... something in it didn't come out quite the way I wanted, though, but I'm too lazy to fix it... ::decides to go search for her brains which have apparently gone to a vacation in Peru:: I know only Krissie will get that one... I love you... 


	13. Shit.

AN: Gomen for the long wait, lots of stuff been up and sorry to tell you it's probably gonna be a while before the next chapter gets out. And sorry for all the people to whom I haven't mailed, but there's been *really* lots of stuff up, oki? You guys are so gonna kill me for the cliff-hanger in this chapter.... Yeah, and sorry for the chapter title, but I just had to do it. ^_^ You'll know why once you read this.  
  
BTW no spellcheck on this chapter, please don't suffocate for laughing too much cuz I'm a poor bastard and could never afford your hospital bills....  
  
  
  
  
Double Reflections  
Chapter 13  
  
  
  
  
Houjun was sitting in the library, trying to concentrate on his school-work, but his mind kept slipping to Tasuki all the time. It would soon be time for another tutoring session with Genrou, but that didn't disturb Houjun at all, most opposite actually. Now that he wasn't scared of his pupil anymore, he had started to enjoy spending evenings with the red-head. It was nice to teach someone who was actually listening for a change instead of wasting all his energy in just trying to make people sit still for five seconds. Still, things never got boring with Genrou being around, the red-head often made such out of place comments that even Houjun had to smile.  
  
Houjun checked his watch. He would have just enough time to go see if Tasuki had written already.  
  
  
***  
  
  
Genrou was in Nirvana, just staring at the part of the story where Houjun told him he loved him. He wished he could have just placed that feeling on the screen somehow, but he guessed he had to use mere words instead.  
  
" Tasuki was stunned by Chichiri's words. Could it really be possible that the monk loved him? The bandit had never dared to hope his feelings to be returned, - " Genrou smirked. He had actually hoped for quite a lot of things which all involved Houjun loving him in one way or another... " he had been ready to spend the rest of his life just loving Chichiri from afar. " Genrou frowned. He had almost written Houjun. He also had another reason to pause: seeing what he had written, and understanding it was more than just pretty words, made him realize how much he actually loved the blue-haired man. He would keep loving Houjun for the rest of his life even if the other man never found out who he truly was. The thought had a slightly bitter-sweet touch to it but it also felt Genrou's heart with something bigger than he had ever experienced. Devoting his life so completely to someone was the greatest commitment he could ever hope to make, and Houjun was the only person who could ever be worth it.  
  
" Tasuki lifted his head, looking Chichiri straight in the eye, not even seeing clearly because his mind was so over-flowingly filled with love towards the other man. He stared at the monk, trying to come up with something to say, something that could describe his feelings. He knew that no words could ever be enough, yet the only thing that came even close was a simple three-word sentence.  
  
'I love you.'  
  
Tasuki kept his gaze locked with Chichiri's, waiting to see the monk's reaction to his words. Would he dare to kiss Chichiri? "  
  
"Hello, Genrou! What are you typing so intently?"  
  
Houjun's voice. Right behind his back.   
  
Genrou almost fell down from the chair trying to close the story and stand up so he would block Houjun's view of the screen, almost forgetting to save. "Oh, I was just finishin' tomorrow's homework, that bit on Watergate." The essay in question was already safely in his locker, but hopefully Houjun didn't know it. Genrou was panicking. What if Houjun had seen what he had been typing?  
  
"Oh, good, then you won't mind me borrowing the computer for a while, will you?"  
  
Genrou bet Houjun wanted to check the story. That meant the blue-haired man would read his confession in a couple of minutes. Genrou was almost scared to see how Houjun would react.  
  
"Not at all. It's all yers."   
  
He'd better go fetch that essay in case Houjun wanted to read it through.  
  
  
***  
  
  
It was quite late in the evening already. They had been supposed to cover the things leading to World War II that night, but Houjun had insisted on starting with the actual military operations, too, because he was sure Genrou would make so many questions they would fall behind in the schedule otherwise.  
  
"Hitler first attacked Poland in 1938." Houjun closed his eyes, trying to concentrate. Genrou was bound to get all the maneuvers mixed up if Houjun kept just droning like that. "Here, let me draw you a map." Houjun reached for a pen, but a sudden jolt of pain struck through his neck and upper right arm. He flinched involuntarily.  
  
  
***  
  
  
Genrou stood up immediately. "Is yer shoulder still that screwed up? Lemme rub yer back or something, it's the least I can do. It's my fault in the first place that ya got hurt." Genrou hurried around the table and placed his hands on Houjun's shoulders before the other man could object. It was a perfect excuse for being close to him. "Ya can keep talking while I do this, unless I keep distractin' ya too much, that is..." Genrou knew he at least was getting extremely distracted by being only a couple of inches away from Houjun, massaging his tutor's shoulders. How could even someone's neck look so gorgeous?  
  
"Really, Genrou, there is no need for fussing so much about my shoulder." Genrou could feel Houjun's muscles loosening already.   
  
"Yeah? Why not?" Genrou asked frowning, now completely absorbed in trying to make Houjun feel as good as possible. When he had first touched Houjun's back, he had felt him go all tense. He hadn't realized it then, but now he understood that it was probably because Houjun hadn't been physically this close to anyone for years. Genrou wanted to hug the poor guy but that would have probably given him a heart-attack.   
  
"Well, first of all, it's my shoulder. Why should anyone care?" Genrou could feel Houjun begin to relax completely under the soft pressure from his fingers.  
  
"Chiri, I told ya already, ya don't have to be so strong all the time..." Genrou felt Houjun go suddenly all tense again. Something he'd said? What could it possibly -  
  
No shit.  
  
He had let it slip.  
  
Shit, shit, shit, shit.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
AN: ::is already running half way to Siberia trying to dodge tables:: You'll never catch me!!!!! But if I get enough reviews, I might try getting the next chapter out before 2027. ::hint hint:: And if anybody knows where to download Weiss Kreuz songs or anything by Seki Tomokazu or FY Seiryuu-side songs, that'd also be a great help.... yes, I know...I'm a greedy bastard.... Thanks for all the cool people who have reviewed and special thanks to Chibigreenwizardmon for telling me how to spell criticism and for General Touchstone for actually saying something constructive (more on the subject later, sorry about this chapter still being mostly Genrou...)!!!!! It's little things like these that make my day!!!!!! C'mon, people, it's not that hard pressing that magical Review-button and it makes poor widdle me so happy!!!  
  
And then the most important thing: Krissie, I *do* love you and if you've not checked your mail yet, you really should do it... But you scared the shit out of me! (not literally!!!!!!! Why did I end up using such a stupid expression in the first place?) (BTW nothing in the mail was intended to blame you in any way ::starts groveling on the floor being afraid that she's written something that might be missunderstood::) Plwease don't scare me like that again, honey, or I'm gonna jump all the way over the Atlanic ocean and glomp you and never let go!!! It'd be pretty hard doing anything with a chibified me hanging on your leg all the time, ne? ....I wanna give you a hug......... 


	14. I believe in you

AN: ::crawls on the floor begging forgiveness from all the people who have been going nuts over the cliffhanger:: I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry!!!!!! I'm sorry I haven't updated for such a long time but I really haven't had a possibility. First of all, there's simply been so much RL stuff driving me crazy that I haven't actually even gotten my hands on a compy but occasionally. Second, and the actual reason is just that....eh.....something happened........I've been under so much mental drain that I've had a total writer's block and not even the *will* to write......Everything's still mixed up, but the most important thing is okay now......it's kinda like that it took me three months to figure out the stuff Houjun says in this chapter. I've been doing a really lot of thinking, so this chapter wound up being somewhat different from the usual ffn-stuff. I don't know if you'll like it, for those whom it comes as a disappointment, the next chapters will be more or less back to normal style, but the stuff that is said in this chapter is something I really wanted to say.   
  
Krissie, this is more or less one of those things I've been saying I've been trying to tell but never got the chance........And guess what? ^_~ I still love you.........  
  
  
  
  
And your fortune for the day:  
It's short, it sucks, but at least it's an update.  
  
  
  
  
AN2: Sorry for all the people I've not written to, I kinda hardy checked my mail at all for a couple of months for certain reasons......I miss all you people.....  
  
Yeah, and didn't bother spell-checking this chapter.....^^;;;;;;; Anyway, the next chapter will be out once I get back, that being about three days from this day on.  
  
  
  
  
  
Double Reflections  
Part 14  
  
  
  
  
  
Everything was dead-still. Houjun was sitting on the chair, conscious of the fact that Genrou had stopped breathing, aware of everything in the deserted classroom yet at the same time feeling strangely detached from it all. Everything seemed as if he was just observing it through a glass window that separated him from the universe. He knew that this time no-one would bring down the walls for him. He would have to do it all by himself.  
  
  
***  
  
  
Genrou was frantic. There was no way out of this one and he was panicking so badly he couldn't even rush out of the room. Well, at least this gave him extremely good first-hand experience for coming up with creative synonyms for the metaphor 'a deer caught in the headlights'. Would Houjun slap him, yell at him, tell him to go away or would he just stare at him, looking hurt, and say nothing at all?  
  
And then, tentatively, Houjun's quiet voice filled the emptyness around them.  
  
"This feels...weird."   
  
  
***  
  
  
Houjun had always thought that in situations like this things would just somehow start proceeding by themselves once he had got the first sentence out. He found out, however, that it was still just as hard as before trying to find the correct words to express what he was trying to say. Slowly he spoke on:  
  
"Subconsciously...sometimes even knowingly, I guess...I have been thinking...that the whole story is just a dream; and now you are suddenly there...But you know, what is the weirdest thing is that I don't actually care about whether it is real or not...Sometimes it is enough just having a dream you can believe in..."  
  
The words didn't come out quite as he had hoped for, but he was quite sure he had nailed down the basic core of what he was trying to say. Now he only needed to explain it to Genrou and himself.  
  
"I often wonder whether anything really is 'real'. Like love, for example. It's just about saying simple words, doing simple things that are supposed to show that you care. There is no way of knowing that that one special person is the right one for you, or that love even exist. There's no proof about love. It's not some magical thing with neon signs pointing 'This is love.' You just have to believe in it."  
  
Houjun was completely concentrating on words now, and all the things he had been thinking about recently started popping into his mind. On a normal occasion he would have just ignored them, but somehow it felt really important to tell Genrou just everything that bounced into his head at the moment.  
  
"Have you ever read anything by Nietzsche? The basic thing about his theories is that there is no such thing as reality, just mindless chaos. The reason we think that the world actually makes sense is that people have the ability to give meanings to things. We reflect our own mind to the reality and observe everything as we see fit."  
  
  
***  
  
  
Genrou almost smirked. He was pretty sure that it wasn't even one guy in a billion who started lecturing philosophy on a moment like that. But that was yet another reason that made Houjun so damn cute. Genrou was still scared, and couldn't quite see where Houjun was going, but despite the severity of the situation he just had to allow himself a small smile. Fortunately Houjun couldn't see it as Genrou was still standing behind his chair.   
  
Until then neither of them had moved as much as an inch, but now Houjun slowly rose up. Genrou's mind was racing out of control. Would Houjun walk out on him, tell him that he'd had his dream and didn't need him any longer? Genrou took a deep breath, readying himself for the worst.  
  
  
***  
  
  
"So, it doesn't really matter whether love exists or not. All that matters is that you can believe in it, and in the person you love."  
  
Houjun turned around to face the red-head, his one eye fuzzy with emotion. Genrou looked so adorable when he was confused and uncertain instead his usual boastful self. All his emotions were clearly visible on his face.  
  
"And you know what, Genrou?"  
  
Very slowly Houjun let a smile spread on his face.  
  
"I believe in you."  
  
  
  
  
  
AN: From now on I should start updating more regularly again, but RL's still hectic so it's not an actual promise, but at least I'll try...::hides under a table when a chibi Yoda pops up saying: "Do it or do not. There is no try."::....yeah, so thanks to Yoda, I'll do it....unless I get burned to crisp from all the flames I'll get for this one......just hang in there guys.....the next chapters will have more fun stuff again.......I might try getting the next chapter out within a week or so if I get enough reviews, but if not....well, I guess it doesn't really matter that much if I just drop the whole thing.......cuz people are gonna hate this chapter......I wonder if anyone's even reading this anymore................?  
  
I better shut up now...........bye............ 


	15. One hug can change the world

AN: Merry Christmas and a Bishie-filled New Year!!! As for why I didn't update when I promised, time kinda just slipped away and then I got sick and was lying unconscious for a couple of days...oki, I'll let you read the story now and save my rants until after the chappy........  
  
  
  
  
  
Double Reflections  
Chapter 15  
  
  
  
  
  
Genrou was dump-struck. He had never seen such an expression on Houjun's face before. It had always been either covered with a fake smile, which didn't reach very far from his mouth, or been totally expressionless except for a few recent occasions when Houjun had actually smiled for real. Even on those times, however, his smile had been small and fleeting, like it was just a flash of mirth in a well of endless sadness, but what Genrou now saw in front of him was something totally different. It was Houjun alright, and he was smiling, but this time the emotion reached everywhere. There had always been something missing, but now Houjun looked...complete.   
  
  
***  
  
  
Houjun felt like his whole being was filled with love towards Genrou. The baffled look on the other boys face made him realize that Genrou had probably thought he would be mad at him, accuse him of being a liar and just tell him to go away, but Houjun didn't want to repeat the mistakes he had done in the past. It was so rare for two people to truly find each other like they had done that he wanted to cherish the bond they had slowly created between themselves.  
  
Houjun knew that he should do something to show Genrou that everything was going to be alright. No, he didn't have to. He wanted to.  
  
Houjun took a deep breath. He was scared of being rejected, scared of discovering that it had all been just an extremely elaborate prank, but if he hesitated now, he would keep running away the rest of his life.  
  
He just had to believe.  
  
Slowly Houjun took a step forward.  
  
  
***  
  
  
Genrou almost forgot to breath again as he watched Houjun close the small distance between them. He felt Houjun's arms wrap around him hesitantly, like the other boy would have been afraid he was just an illusion that would disappear as soon as he touched him. Clumsily Genrou answered to the embrace. He felt Houjun press against his chest, and then heard a small voice say:  
  
"Is it okay...if I just stay here?"  
  
  
***  
  
  
Houjun felt Genrou wrap his arms tighter around him as a response to his words. He clutched tighter to the red-head and noticed there was something warm trickling down his neck.   
  
Tears?  
  
Then he realized that his own cheeks were wet too. When he had understood that Genrou would really be there for him the salty liquid had started flowing down from his eyes. The sudden relief after so much mental strain had been too much for them both, they had started crying.  
  
Tears of joy.  
  
Just for this one moment, he would be safe under Tasuki's wings.  
  
  
***  
  
  
Genrou was resting his head on Houjun's shoulder. Even at a moment like this he was surprised to discover that the blue-haired boy was almost as tall as him. Then he realized that he still hadn't answered to Chichiri's question. Well, he was quite sure he had already got his message across without any verbal means, but somehow it felt important that he stated it out aloud.  
  
"...kay.."  
  
His first try came out only as a muffled whisper. Genrou raised his head a little so he could properly move his jaw. Houjun's bangs were tickling his ear.  
  
"It's more than okay. Being able to hold ya like this, to bring ya happiness, it's all I ever really wanted...besides a fancy car and jack-pot in the lottery, but they don't exactly compare with this", Genrou added with a frown. He heard Houjun chuckle close to his left ear. "Hey, I was just bein' honest..."  
  
Houjun looked up and seeing the expression on the blue-haired man's face made Genrou smile too, and suddenly they were both grinning like maniacs.  
  
  
***  
  
  
"You know, that is one reason I love you, the way you say everything so openly..." Houjun hugged Genrou tight, feeling snuggly and light-headed for all the emotional tumult he had gone through that night. "You're always so alive..."  
  
"That did bring the tension down a little, though, didn't it?", Genrou smirked.  
  
"It doesn't matter...all that matters is that I love you..." Even though Houjun had known he loved Genrou for quite a while now, it still came as a shock when he said it. Stating it out loud made it suddenly seem so much more real. Houjun felt like he was so full of emotions towards Genrou that he was sure his brain would explode soon. He was still a bit uneasy, but when he heard Genrou's next words he knew everything was finally okay.  
  
  
***  
  
  
"I love you too..."  
  
Genrou felt odd saying aloud something he usually connected only with books and movies, but it felt good nevertheless. He hugged Houjun tight, and for a while that was the only thing in the world that really mattered.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
AN (from the time I first wrote this chapter): Sappy, sappy, sappy......but I was in a sappy mood, oki? And besides, there can never be too much sap...^_^  
  
AN: So, that was all of Double Reflections for this year. I've written a part of chapter 16, but I think it's kinda cute to leave the guys snuggling in the darkness for the New Years Eve....and I think it gives a nice ending to this year.....I hope you liked it....and now I'll stop before my ultra-low self-esteem kicks in again.....  
  
Now there'll be a couple of announcements...  
  
First of all, Sweetdeily has been kind enough to host DR on her page. Actually it's been up for quite a while now, but I never wound up posting the URL......gomen...^^;;;  
  
well, here it finally is:  
  
http://www.angelfire.com/anime4/honeysweets140/FYfics.html  
  
There's also Meg's Papier-maché Emotions (go read it if you haven't done that yet!!! it's cute!!! ^_^), and there'll prolly be some more.......  
  
Last summer I started building a little web page I nevr finished, but I intend to continue it in near future and start posting extra suff there. Currently iy looks so crappy that I won't even post the link yet, but I'll try cleaning it up before I post the next chapter.....  
  
  
And now to the important part ^_^: I wanna wish Merry Christmas to Krissie!!! ::glomp:: ::would wish merry christmass to everyone else too unless she was so busy glomping Krissie:: Well, I hope everyone makes it alive through holidays and continues reading this next year too!!!!  
  
Krissie, I love you........... 


End file.
